Anonymous Letter

Dear Snarfy,

I have never sent a letter to a superhero so please read. Firstly, where did you get your powers? The ability to endure a spinal tap with a giggle and a squeak is kick ass! I have difficulty mowing the lawn without bawling. The power to listen and smile while people hold you and blabber?? Helen Keller had better listening skills than me. Being okay with having to work out three times a day!!! I get bloody stools about having to drag my lard ass to the gym twice a week!! That poor treadmill. I know it cries every time it sees my redwood thighs lumber through the doors. Happily going to ten doctor appointments a month. I bitch about having one a year. I have been following your blog closely and I think you are absolutely phenomenal. Your Dad seems like a bit of a handful but I am sure you are extremely patient with him. I just wanted to let you know that you are the reason I believe in superheroes. Life would be so boring without you. I also appreciate your humility. Personally, I think Batman's bat mobile is way over the top. Your understated, yet stylish yellow stander is a far less pretentious mode of transport. And Wonder Woman's red stripper boots have nothing on your classy blue and purple spotted AFO's. Now when I mow the lawn, I smile. Now when I meet people, I listen. Now when I go to the gym, I thank God I can walk. Now when I go to the doctor, I thank God I am healthy. Now when I wake up in the morning, I think of you and thank God you were born. Everybody should have a superhero and I am so grateful to have found mine.